1. She discovered how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, and

2. He’s only here tonight because we told him Taco Bell would be catering…Here’s

3. She’s constantly falling victim to pyramid schemes and

4. He may say otherwise, but he can not hold his alcohol very well….Introducing 

5. She’s a lifelong Backstreet Boys fan and

6. He, coincidentally, has always dreamed of being a Backstreet Boy himself….Give a hand for

7. This bad influence will be teaching you all how to Dougie later tonight and

8. He drives the Barbie Jeep parked right outside…Let’s hear it for

9. BRIDE is beginning to worry she’s becoming a crazy cat lady

10. His ID may say he’s 21, but it’s in everyone’s best interest not to offer him any drinks tonight

11. She dresses to kill, and cooks the same way, and

12. He firmly believes you just can’t fix stupid

13. Her voice is often referred to as a mixture of Fergie and Jesus, and

14. His girlfriend/wife is direct evidence that you don’t have to be lonely at FarmersOnly.com

15. She will absolutely out-drink anyone here tonight and

16. He’s a hopeless romantic who enjoys long walks.. into work…

17. Straight off of platform 9 and three quarters, this Gryffindor alumni is ready to party and

18. Miraculously, he made through the entire ceremony without checking his fantasy team once

19. She has enough charm to sell water to a drowning man

20. He has been lifting weights for months in preparation for this glorious day

21. She is one of the only humans alive who will laugh at the Bride’s jokes and

22. We’ve given him a +4 handicap to help offset his dance moves

23. She loves her Grey Goose with a side of ranch dressing and

24. He may be loud, but he’s also pretty good at drinkin’ beer

25. Many suspect Jeff Bezos’ fortune can be traced to her love for online shopping and

26. Pay attention ladies, because he’s tonight’s most eligible bachelor

27. She is often referred to as the Bride’s “sister from another mister” and

28. It’s best not to bring up the Vikings around him unless you have a couple hours to chat.

29. This fashion icon is pursuing her dreams of becoming Jason Derulo’s hair stylist and

30. There’s currently a betting pool on the odds he ends up dancing on a table tonight